by Olivia Moore | Oct 9, 2018 | Love or Infatuation I suppose..., poems, Poetry
It seems as if as soon as I clear a space something comes along and gets dumped in it
Causing me to do more work just to get it clear again
Tired of feeling as if I’m not living life at my own pace
Tired of seeing my time improve
But still feeling as if I’m never going to win the race
My life is my journey to make
But there’s only so much I can take
So ultimately I have to decide
Will I sit and silence and learn to adjust or convince you to see my side
I’m tired
A whole year later and same old words
Both of us hoping to be heard
Me feeling as if I have no voice
Now I sit here 12 weeks along feeling as if I have no choice
I refuse to sit here and tell myself that I have to adjust to something new
Feeling as if I’m not able to out what to do
How will we pay bills
Whose going to help clean the house
We are in this together
We are real partners
No more dealing with a spouse
You’re right there’s been no progress
Same old conversations
I refuse to handle this like I handle past situations
No more being silent and going with the flow
No more sprinting hoping that you’ll be happy with how fast I can go
This three legged race has gone as far as it can go .
Feel free to run at your own pace
Cause there is nothing more I can do than to step back and give you more space
by Olivia Moore | Apr 11, 2018 | gemini, GEMini Things, poems, Poetry
Some use titles just to fit in
Others use them as a basis to self comprehend
I prefer to fly free
Taking every moment to get to know me
Daily lessons
Some harder to accept than others
Striving to be strong like my pops
But nurturing like my mother
At times I feel so lost
Especially when I’m asked
Do you know who you are
I am me
Sometimes too apologetically
Battling with who or what to be
Almost ready to give in
Sick of titles
Monogamy
Polygamy
Polyamory
Single and saved
Lonely
Broken
Anxious
Acceptance we crave
Tired of trying to fit in
Only to end up seeking all over again
The toughest one to deny is empathy
Always attracting folks who unload on me
Objects in mirror are not as strong as they appear
I get tired
I get weak
I’m constantly fighting my fears
Bouncing and slipping with my Uncle Maslow
Indecisive on which way to go
Someone, please stabilize me
I’m tired of letting this title called Gemini
Control and rule me
by Olivia Moore | Mar 15, 2018 | Mom, poems, Poetry, thoughts
I just kept going
Didn’t stop to consider who would be affected
In survival mode
So many signs neglected
Didn’t stop to consider that there were too many transitions
Too many for your mind to comprehend
I expected you to adapt
they say children are resilient
Gifted as an empath
I feel your anger and pain
Now I sit filled with anxiety and frustration
Praying for peace again
It’s the little things that trigger a flood of emotion
causing my heart to overbeat
and my mind to be filled with negative commotion
Chest is tight
Head now aches
The more you rebel
the more my heart breaks
I only have myself the blame
I didn’t take a second to talk to you
I could’ve explained
Could have warned you that our life will never be the same
Instead I assumed that all of you would react the same
Assumed that you’d all be ok
3 years later I have to fight to make it right
When did I stop paying attention to my kids
How did I not see their perspective
Why did I wait until now to take a look back
I’m reflective
Now I’m weighed down
I feel guilty for choosing me
Knowing that someone would suffer
If I chose to set myself free
However I have no regrets
This too shall pass
It will all be ok
pain don’t always last
The process of blending ain’t never smooth
Gotta cut through some rough things
change speed and direction ….
it takes some time to transform solids to liquid food
If you stop before things are fully complete
you’ll be left with a fight
a divide
Anger and Love will compete….
trust the process
be open to heal
Be honest with yourself
allow yourself to feel
by Olivia Moore | Feb 26, 2018 | Lesson of The Day, Mom, poems, Poetry
We’re taught to nurture
Allow you to suckle upon our breast
Then expected to carry the load of the shit that you left
You turn to hoes that don’t mind bending over
Make it clap
Then resenting the woman that’s been riding for you because she can’t twerk it like that
Men want a woman who makes a house a home
But isolate her and expect her to deal with her emotions alone
It’s no wonder she begins to prefer a softer touch
She just wants your protection and strength
Is that asking too much
So tired of the excuse of no one ever showed me the right way
When we all get the same 24 hours in a day
So what’s a woman to do
Be savage
Or be sweet
Or find a gray area between
We tell you we need you
You tell us you’ll be there
But what’s the point of words
When your actions prove you don’t care
I sound like a woman scorned
A woman who has nothing left to give to my brothers
But I’m just a woman who is fighting to not give up
Completely eliminate the term lover
I hope my words don’t bruise your ego and activate your pride
I hope that they motivate you to dig a little deeper and find the king inside
As much as I get tired of queenin’
I gotta do this shit to show my babies that life has meaning
Don’t want to raise a generation of women who don’t know their worth
Wanna show my boys that they are the dopest beings walking this Earth
So alone I’ll deal
Alone I’ll heal
Alone I’ll find a better way to feel
Until you realize that what I have to offer is real
by Olivia Moore | Feb 26, 2018 | Love or Infatuation I suppose..., poems, Poetry
I’m learning that it’s not them it’s me
My thoughts make me afraid of what will be
Too afraid to be happy
Fighting against this thing called vulnerability
Truth is I’m wide open
Trying to find a way to plug at least one side of my nose
I’m starting to lose control
But this time it feels so good
So why question if it’s real
Why try to tuck away how I feel
I guess because I’ve been done this road or two
Where I was so caught up in it all
that eventually I felt like a fool
Ignored all of the warning signs
Ignored my gut and my mind
They told me to follow my heart
I want this time to be different
I guess that’s a good place to start….
To be Continued
by Olivia Moore | Feb 26, 2018 | Love or Infatuation I suppose..., Poetry
I tell people all the time that they can experience heaven every day
But people rarely believe the things that I say
My life has been filled with moments that I wished weren’t real
But my time with you makes me wish I could bottle up how I feel
I wanna share it with the folks that need a moment to feel good
I prayed for the day when I cared less about time
and peace and comfort would take over my mind..
When I’d be surrounded by all the things that fill me ..
fulfill me
full fill me ..
Feel Me
Incense burning
music flowing
watching the artist master another piece…
His brushes and strokes make me release…..
It’s as if time doesn’t even exist..
Nothing could possibly feel better than this….
