by Olivia Moore | May 21, 2019 | Mom, poems, Poetry, Postpartum
Yesterday was my first day back at work and it honestly went very well. By night time sadness hit me outta nowhere. I wrote this poem in an attempt to get through it.
At the end of the day
I gotta stand in my own
Face the things that burden me all alone
Everyone tries to assure me and remind me that a whole universe has my back
But that nigga ain’t here or don’t hear when I ask for help to get back on track
6-week old baby
Still trying to feel a new version of sane
Fighting all of this heaviness coursing through my veins
All while my face holds a smile
People happy to see me cause I’ve been gone for a while
Partnership or not this battle is on me
I have to change my perception of reality
Most days deep down I know that all is well
But at this moment I feel like I’m laying in hell
Too numb to break a sweat
Soul growing cold enough to survive
All while the crowd cheers keep hope alive
Have you ever been surrounded by people that cheer you on and advise you on what to do?
Wishing you had someone who could be you for you?
Deep inside I want someone to be me for me
Be there to do all that they can to show me how to get free
Be there to just sit and comfort me
Without me having to ask or beg or hope that they want to be there for me
I swear these poems are getting repetitive
Same message different words
Maybe one day they will be more than just liked
But heard …
by Olivia Moore | Apr 24, 2019 | poems, Poetry
No one talks about how life will change
How a new beautiful baby brings change
Wanna breastfeed?
Don’t forget your nursing bra, nursing pads and don’t forget to track how much water you’ve had …
Broccoli gives y’all both gas
It’s 3 am and everyone else is asleep
Sitting on the side of the bed allowing myself to weep
For the first 2 weeks make sure you get your rest.
Eat when she eats, and sleeping when she sleeps is what’s best …
Some days are easier than others
I can admit at times that I want to take my frustrations out on my lover
I remind myself to step back and meditate
And be cautious about the decisions that I make
Family and friends shower the baby with blessings
Everyone flocks with ooohs and awws
You damn right she’s cute
But when things get real my phone is mute
I appreciate those who text just to check on me
There’s much more to motherhood than what the eye can see
Your partner is the one who is supposed to be there to ALWAYS have your back
But that’s not reality and most times there’s no one there to pick up the slack
We are all human and have our own crosses to bare
So understand that there’s no one someone else can always be there
There’s no such thing as getting it all right
So let’s stop letting the quest for perfection keep us up late at night
The best thing I can do is to ditch the idea of perfection
Be patient with myself and others and take note of the daily lessons
We have access to everything we need and desire
But we keep adding gas and doubt to the fear fire
Breathe
Be still and know
Enjoy the journey
Continue to grow …:
by Olivia Moore | Jan 7, 2019 | poems, Poetry
Anger Management
I don’t want to be angry
Don’t want to be emotional
But somehow the rage takes over
My chest get tight
This shit ain’t right
Don’t want to feel like this any more
0 to 100 in the blink of an eye
No matter how many deep breaths I try
So the only way to release the steam
Is to let it liquefy from my eyes
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale let the tears flow
Find your center
Find a focus
Let it all go!
by Olivia Moore | Jan 6, 2019 | poems, Poetry
Constantly being told that yall get no love from Black women
Cause niggas ain’t shit
Makes it hard for the ones who got nothing but love for you to not tap out and quit
Ain’t my fault if you believe the lies
Especially if you have an exception to your truth in front of your eyes
My back ain’t strong enough to make up for the perspectives of the majority
Getting fed up with hearing that I’m the minority !
Well brotha treat me as such!
Tell me if that’s asking too much
Queen
Black wOman
Strongest beings I know
Were not put here solely to support while you grow!
We both got healing to do !
It makes it impossible when we are abandoned when we are trying our best to show you how much we love you !
Can’t let the brokenness you feel cut holes in my heart!
Can’t let my emotions tear us apart !
There’s so much work to do !
Shit gotta happen whether it’s with or without you !
by Olivia Moore | Dec 17, 2018 | poems, Poetry
Some days I tell myself it’s all worth it
Other days I want to let go and give up
Would I cry so much if I wasn’t on bed rest ?
How do you know when you’ve had enough?
Most days I battle with constant eating and hormones
Everyday I feel alone
Wishing I had someone who truly enjoys doing more than sending texts to my phone
Quality time without my invite
Turns my wrongs to rights
Wish this experience
didn’t feel like a prison sentence
The blessing comes at the end
But this journey ain’t easy
I can’t pretend
Days filled with business and work
Life ends when that sun sets
Body filled with tightness
Mind swims in regrets
My dreams won’t let me forget
Vivid moments feel like reality
Someone please tell me what I can do to comfort me
by Olivia Moore | Dec 12, 2018 | poems, Poetry
The feelings return
Eyes burn
Mind spinning
Decline beginning
Do I fight it or let it roam free?
What the fuck is wrong with me ?
Don’t gotta dig to deep to see that in not happy
Feeling trapped and it’s harder to breathe
Just want to feel like me
Just want to smile at the reflection that I see
God renew my energy
Depletion
But I press forward until my tasks find completion
Robotic motions from day to day
Monotony isn’t the way
