by Olivia Moore | Mar 15, 2018 | Mom, poems, Poetry, thoughts
I just kept going
Didn’t stop to consider who would be affected
In survival mode
So many signs neglected
Didn’t stop to consider that there were too many transitions
Too many for your mind to comprehend
I expected you to adapt
they say children are resilient
Gifted as an empath
I feel your anger and pain
Now I sit filled with anxiety and frustration
Praying for peace again
It’s the little things that trigger a flood of emotion
causing my heart to overbeat
and my mind to be filled with negative commotion
Chest is tight
Head now aches
The more you rebel
the more my heart breaks
I only have myself the blame
I didn’t take a second to talk to you
I could’ve explained
Could have warned you that our life will never be the same
Instead I assumed that all of you would react the same
Assumed that you’d all be ok
3 years later I have to fight to make it right
When did I stop paying attention to my kids
How did I not see their perspective
Why did I wait until now to take a look back
I’m reflective
Now I’m weighed down
I feel guilty for choosing me
Knowing that someone would suffer
If I chose to set myself free
However I have no regrets
This too shall pass
It will all be ok
pain don’t always last
The process of blending ain’t never smooth
Gotta cut through some rough things
change speed and direction ….
it takes some time to transform solids to liquid food
If you stop before things are fully complete
you’ll be left with a fight
a divide
Anger and Love will compete….
trust the process
be open to heal
Be honest with yourself
allow yourself to feel
by Olivia Moore | Feb 26, 2018 | Lesson of The Day, Mom, poems, Poetry
We’re taught to nurture
Allow you to suckle upon our breast
Then expected to carry the load of the shit that you left
You turn to hoes that don’t mind bending over
Make it clap
Then resenting the woman that’s been riding for you because she can’t twerk it like that
Men want a woman who makes a house a home
But isolate her and expect her to deal with her emotions alone
It’s no wonder she begins to prefer a softer touch
She just wants your protection and strength
Is that asking too much
So tired of the excuse of no one ever showed me the right way
When we all get the same 24 hours in a day
So what’s a woman to do
Be savage
Or be sweet
Or find a gray area between
We tell you we need you
You tell us you’ll be there
But what’s the point of words
When your actions prove you don’t care
I sound like a woman scorned
A woman who has nothing left to give to my brothers
But I’m just a woman who is fighting to not give up
Completely eliminate the term lover
I hope my words don’t bruise your ego and activate your pride
I hope that they motivate you to dig a little deeper and find the king inside
As much as I get tired of queenin’
I gotta do this shit to show my babies that life has meaning
Don’t want to raise a generation of women who don’t know their worth
Wanna show my boys that they are the dopest beings walking this Earth
So alone I’ll deal
Alone I’ll heal
Alone I’ll find a better way to feel
Until you realize that what I have to offer is real
by Olivia Moore | Feb 26, 2018 | Love or Infatuation I suppose..., poems, Poetry
I’m learning that it’s not them it’s me
My thoughts make me afraid of what will be
Too afraid to be happy
Fighting against this thing called vulnerability
Truth is I’m wide open
Trying to find a way to plug at least one side of my nose
I’m starting to lose control
But this time it feels so good
So why question if it’s real
Why try to tuck away how I feel
I guess because I’ve been done this road or two
Where I was so caught up in it all
that eventually I felt like a fool
Ignored all of the warning signs
Ignored my gut and my mind
They told me to follow my heart
I want this time to be different
I guess that’s a good place to start….
To be Continued
by Olivia Moore | Jun 5, 2017 | Lesson of The Day, poems, Poetry
I refuse to be afraid to be happy
I refuse to expect the shit to hit the fan
I refuse to try to control every aspect of my life
I refuse to shut down when things don’t go according to plan
What I will do is live
I will love
I will allow my self to be free
I ‘ll embrace my tears
face my fears
I welcome vulnerability
I will allow myself to feel
even during the times when I don’t feel great
I will take the necessary steps to get through any heartbreak
I will allow myself to be the best me I can be
I will allow myself to be me consistently…
by Olivia Moore | May 16, 2017 | poems, Poetry
I fell in love with the you that I perceived
So when you showed me you I felt deceived
I waited patiently for the one that I once knew to return
Only to eventually receive one of the greatest lessons ever learned
Ya gotta be yourself
Let the real you show
Rock with those who love you for where you are
and cheer for you while you grow
I was afraid to speak my peace
Afraid to let you know that sometimes i needed to be laid down
and stimulated until I released..
I held back outta fear for how you’ll respond
I was afraid to take that step when I knew I need to move on
So now here I stand with 50% of our fam
trying to find balance while rocking my crown
Not feeling very regal
Wondering if we should officially divide and finally make this union illegal
I’ve experienced things that can’t be undone
I’ve had some low days
as well as days filled with fun
I always battle with whether or not we should work it out
but real talk that’s not what I want
I want you to live life and figure out who you want to be
I want you to experience how it feels to be free
Free from the opinions of others and your perception of self
Free to fully know love and embrace yourself
I want you to experience how it feels to be sexually free
Doing all the things that you once thought about doing to me
I know ya let fear hold you back
I accept part of the blame for that
I could’ve made it easier for you to communicate
But most times I was too overwhelmed with all of the shit I had on my plate
I don’t regret the almost 9 years that we spent trying to fit 2 circles in a tiny ass box
but promise me that you won’t waste more time forcing yourself to be perfect
or anything you’re not
by Olivia Moore | May 2, 2017 | Business, Lesson of The Day, poems, Poetry
My brain is overwhelmed with thoughts of how I can squeeze it all into the 24 hours of my day
8.5 hours for work
2 hours for traffic
1 hour of dinner/family time
The remainder divided between business and play..
Rome wasn’t built in a day
Too tired to find another way
So I write…
Writing always feels right
It has become my favorite way to end my night
Especially times when I wish I had a pair of strong arms to hold me tight
Times when I need him to whisper “It’s gon’ be alright”
Rome wasn’t built in a day
There’s a time to work
A time to play
There’s always time to pray
Maybe I need to meditate
That shit always makes me feel great
But I lack the discipline to be still
I know the power of silencing my thoughts
but it’s easier to just get caught up in how I feel
Rome wasn’t built in a day
Take one day at time
Breathe in
Breathe out
Put that shit on repeat until you release the clutter in your mind….
