Yesterday was my first day back at work and it honestly went very well. By night time sadness hit me outta nowhere. I wrote this poem in an attempt to get through it.

 

At the end of the day

I gotta stand in my own

Face the things that burden me all alone

Everyone tries to assure me and remind me that a whole universe has my back

But that nigga ain’t here or don’t hear when I ask for help to get back on track

6-week old baby

Still trying to feel a new version of sane

Fighting all of this heaviness coursing through my veins

All while my face holds a smile

People happy to see me cause I’ve been gone for a while

Partnership or not this battle is on me

I have to change my perception of reality

Most days deep down I know that all is well

But at this moment I feel like I’m laying in hell

Too numb to break a sweat

Soul growing cold enough to survive

All while the crowd cheers keep hope alive

Have you ever been surrounded by people that cheer you on and advise you on what to do?

Wishing you had someone who could be you for you?

Deep inside I want someone to be me for me

Be there to do all that they can to show me how to get free

Be there to just sit and comfort me

Without me having to ask or beg or hope that they want to be there for me

I swear these poems are getting repetitive

Same message different words

Maybe one day they will be more than just liked

But heard …